NAVIGATING THE IMMIGRATION PROCESS

Extended pause between posts - the past two months have been so absurd it might take me awhile to detail/review the following: a) local drivers b) high-context culture c) phone call to the embassy/embassy's phone call to employer [Flev finds out that threatening people gets results], d) driving the Mirth Mobile from Wayne's World for a month, e) the failure of reason and logic in accomplishing anything here, blah blah blah - short story long, it's been hectic.

One thing that's bothered my wife and I is the complete lack of information on the internet for the major things: residency (sponsoring wife/child), banking, internet. Sure, we eventually figured these things out - but each little accomplishment ate up about a day. So, for any new expats in Al Ain who might stumble upon this, we will share any information we have. Mind you, you now live in a place with no street addresses, and directions are explained in terms of what roundabout or mall you are near. What follows is the procedure for sponsorship - the most important thing.

Step One - Go the Ministry of Interior, across the street from Al Jimi Mall. Items you will need to bring with you:

1) A color copy of the details page of your passport and UAE residency page.

2)A color copy of the details page of each person you are sponsoring.

3) A salary letter from your employer stating that you can support your family.

4) A letter of sponsorship from your employer, stating that they are sponsoring you.

5) Your marriage certificate, and, if applicable, child's birth certificate, translated into Arabic [there are very few LEGAL translation businesses; all are located on a hidden side street behind the McDonald's on Khalifa Street...turn into the McD's parking lot, go right until you hit a small intersection...bear left and park your car when you start seeing signs for various typing services...there will be a mosque on your left...the translation office is called "Al Quds Legal Translation Office", and is located in the building next to "Trio Typing"...it is marked by a yellow sign. Seventy-five dirhams per document]. Your marriage certificate and child's birth certificate must be attested in the UAE, even if you went through the authentication process at the UAE embassy in the US, Canada, Britain - wherever. You can do this at Al Faraj, which is on the same street as the translation offices [One-hundred-and-thirty dirhams per document].

6) A color copy of your spouse and dependent's health cards.

7) Two color passport-size photos for each person you are sponsoring

STEP TWO -

OK, we're back at the Ministry building.

Obtain a sponsor list from the sponsor list office outside of the Ministry of Interior. Rest assured, I have no idea what this document actually is, but you will pay two dirhams for it. Also, don't worry about finding your way around the Ministry; I assure you, every employee there speaks absolutely zero English.

STEP THREE -

Bring all of your documents to the "Typing Office", which is next to the "Sponsor List Office". There, a lady who speaks no English and types with one finger will shout at you in Arabic to go make photocopies of all of your documents (best to bring extra copies of EVERYTHING to avoid this extra step). She will then charge you two-hundred-and-sixty dirhams per document for stapling a bunch of photocopies together and stamping them. Say "shukran", and run like hell from that cluster----.

STEP FOUR -

Go to the main building of the MOI. You will recognize it by all of the English speakers (84% of the country) trying to communicate with the non-English speakers (100% of the employees). Take a number for the Visa Department. If your spouse is accompanying you, men and women must sit separately.

STEP FIVE -

Once called up, hand your documents over. Someone will shuffle through them, staple a bunch of additional shit to them, hand you a receipt, and point in some nebulous direction, guiding you to your next destination (the "Visa Extension" booth).

STEP SIX -

Hand over your receipt at the Visa Extension booth. Within a few hours (maybe sooner if you chose the "urgent" option at the typing office), you will have the elusive "pink paper" for each person you are sponsoring.

STEP SEVEN -

Go to Oman through the Mezyad crossing. When reentering the UAE, show the police officers the pink papers and get the 60 day visitor stamp for each person you are sponsoring.

STEP EIGHT -

Go to the nearest SEHA office and get a blood test for every person you are sponsoring over the age of eighteen (two-hundred-fifty dirhams for fast-track).

STEP NINE -

Take all your documents (every single piece of paper you've accumulated throughout this process) back to the MOI, hand over the passports of the people you are sponsoring, pay several hundred dirhams.

STEP TEN -

You will get a text when the residencies are completed.

Simple.